Design reminds me of the nature of things. There are so many ways to visualize layers of our reality that I may ask, "What should I be focusing on in order to solve my problems? Should I focus on my reality as atoms? Or should I focus on my reality as flesh?"
Visualizations can play tricks. When I visualize, I can create the illusion I'm perceiving something that I'm not. I visualize atoms making up my flesh, and then move into an internal state of 'ah,' basking in an experience of vastness.
The experience consists of a visualization and a flesh feeling. It doesn't mean I am actually perceiving atoms.
It's important to me to understand the design of how I perceive. I think of myself as a body. I assign perceptions to organ flesh. By understanding the parameters of what I can perceive and what is outside my sensory perception, I work within limits to develop body mastery. As a singer, my voice has been an exploration of muscle perceiving subtlety through movement and feeling. Over time, practice has yielded efficiency to express myself as a flesh instrument, a body.
It takes courage to focus on the flesh as the reality of being. Flesh, after all, degrades and dies. This seemingly ephemeral process of life can cause internal anxiety.
But what is anxiety, but another flesh feeling?
I accept the expression of raw and refined reality in order to live.
With this perspective, the desire to escape design becomes less.
And I can solve my problems.